09.10.22

Awake at 5am. Woken by the huge moon at my bedroom window.  Dozed a while. Got up before my alarm. Dressed for a cold swim and speedy warm up.

All supplies ready the night before to minimise the clattering about.

Walking up and down the street waiting for my ride. Breathing in deeply the cold dark air.  Can't see the moon hiding behind our house but i can feel she's there.

Jump into the car - 2 souls also ready for adventure. Parking, piling on the layers.  A walk in the dark through trees and fields.  Only 10 minutes but it's light by the time we get there.  Wait for 2 more souls to join us.  

Looking at the cold, clear water I wonder if I dare to go in.

Our group is complete, we prepare to dip. 3 go in, 2 settle for ankle deep.

My swim boots save me. I'm immediately knee deep and it's good. The crouched down, i'm in up to my chest.  Keeping hands out because that's just too painfully cold.  The skin above water hurts, burns a little, the skin below feels warm and alive; energised.

Time to get our before it becomes too hard to dress and warm up.

Manage a very speedy strip down and back into fleece lined overalls, hat, gloves, socls, boots.  I am warm and basking in the new sun that has come to greet us on the other side.

The Kelly Kettle is ready, it burst into life easily and I pour our milk into the pan followed by a good dose of cacao.

I'm grateful for the heat on my hands, warming my finger tips that hold the soft smooth wood of my precious carved spoon.

Jesse, beautiful hound wandering around accepting hugs and kisses and photographs with us all.  Gentle hound with deep eyes and an almost smile.

Incense burning, palo santo in the air. My sisters covered in a haze of sunlight.  A wooden flute brings us back to ourselves.

The cacao warms to these sensory gifts. I pour, we add rose elixir. We sip and chat.

The fire is still warm and I appreciate it and am so happy to have it's presence.

Something shifts.  What was already easy conversation becomes something else. Our truth comes to the surface.  Freedom with the thoughts and words. A space has opened up big enough to accomodate us all.  I feel that the clutter in my mind has been gently nudged loose and space has been left for a new energy. A deliscious golden vibe that I want to bottle and keep forever.

Poetry is read. Tears are shed.

I take and oracle card. It shocks me to my core.  I resist it for a moment and then my heart breaks just a little before warm, loving arms around me put me back together.  The it's just joy as I allow the message and the words to cleanse me.  Then more tears - not even mine.

We all play the wooden flute. 'Breathe in for 7, hold for 7, Breathe out and into the flute for 7.'  Reminds me of birds.

I'm cleansed with palo santo and asked if i'd like to connect to the masculine or the feminine side of my ancestors. The feminine please.  I stand under the sun and let it happen, whatever that is.

I think a couple of hours have passed but i'm not sure. It doesn't matter.

A quietness settles on us and we hear about the special flute and it's journey.  We close our eyes and listen again to her play 7 - 7 - 7.  It's enchanting.  

I hear a roaring fire to my right.  I open my eyes, the dog is right in front of me but the sound doesn't make sense.  I find myself leaning closer to listen to the dog - of course it's not her.  I look to my sisters to see if they are hearing it. All still and silent.  The fire continues to roar but there is no fire.  I close my eyes and let it wash over me, engulf me. And the flute stops and the fire is out but I am full of light and a gentle burning energy.

I don't want to leave but it is time.  We made magic.  An unexpected magic that couldn't have been planned or moulded into anything other than what it was. Out of our control it found it's way into my body, my heart, my bones, my ears, my eyes.

Kisses, hugs, goodbyes.  We separate but we are bound together.  Holding the magic in our souls, we let it carry us home, back to our lives, unchaned but different.